I Need a Man..

So I am on vacation and I rented a car. These new cars though, they come with this push buttons that gets my goat. Second time renting one, and once I’m acquainted we get along quite fine.

This was my ordeal yesterday at Budget Rent A Car in Ft. Lauderdale. We are not going to mention the line, I am not complaining let’s be clear. Finally I get to the counter and I am told that I have a Nissan Sentra waiting for me. I get there with my two suitcases and no Sentra. Finally it appeared and having rented cars before I knew enough to walk around the car as well as take pictures if anything didnt seem normal. There were dents and quite a few things I didn’t like including the push button. Honestly, it scared me. I told them the car wasnt acceptable and with a smile, they changed the car to a Jetta….

A Jetta, I thought, but decided it would have to be a new car so no arguments. I got out there and shortly after a pretty blue Jetta was driven down. I signaled to the driver to ask if that was my car and he gave me a thumps up, then he parked the car at my feet. I liked it, especially because it had a regular key start. Got into my car, drive up to security only to be sent back because my car didnt match the contract that said a Black Jetta.

I promise you it gets better. So I had to take my stuff and walk back to the booth to wait for the right rental….. I think the gentleman felt bad for me. There was a cute red car parked in front of me and he must have seen me salivating while tapping my toes. You know, the minutes before you blow.

He asked, “Do you want this car?” I said, “yes.” And reminded him about security. He said he would change the contract. Which he did.

Upon Getting into the car, what do I see? A push button. Ok I had had enough. I’m gonna work with this. I tried adjusting the mirrors, nothing. I knew it had to be me. I needed to put my luggage in the truck, change this crazy radio station, but I had no clue how.

I got out of the car, walked to the man and asked for a simple tutorial. Smiles. That’s a grown woman move right there. Haha. The lesson included opening the trunk, changing the mirrors and brushing over the radio….

I was on my way. Even made it through security. Got to my first stop. Time to get back on my way. I pushed the button. The AC and the radio comes on but when I put the car in reverse, nothing happened. Panic mode. I called my friend Ricardo and told him what was happening. I needed him to come quickly. Lol. “Ricky, could you help me please”, I was embarrassed. In my defense though, I was clear, ” Ricky it may not be the car, it may just be me.” Ricky says, “ok, I’m coming, but from I heard, you put your foot on the break and push the button.” So I did that and guess what, I was back in business. Every stop after that I empowered.

The best part though was when I said, “Thank you Ricky.” and he responded, “it’s no problem sweetheart, that’s what I’m here for.” Listen if no one ever has said that to you, or if you get it always, know for me it was the sweetest words on a day when I needed it the most.

The 50’s comes with surprises

It’s almost my birthday, 51 happens on Saturday. Can you say excited? I am still in the dark as to why turning 50 excited me so and still does even now 1 year later.

You see 50 came with new insights; a changing of the guards of sorts. Your 20’s 30’s and 40’s year old self will differ drastically in so many ways, the very least of which is looking in the mirror and realizing that everything that use to perk up when you undress now lays dead on the floor…..well almost.

Its called the 50’s. But hear me now it’s not all bad news. At 50 as quickly as the deflation happens, the opposite is true for your wisdom and self-awareness. They propel to new heights. The things that use to upset you now have none to very little effect. It’s much easier to laugh out loud at yourself. That’s the fun part.

Not everything feels like a fight anymore. Now you choose what gets into your spirit. I feel like this calm incontrol person now. If something doesn’t suit or serve me, I can walk away easily. This makes up for the droopings and the droppings, I can’t get over this. Everything just hit the floor.

I wasn’t prepared for my body to change so dramatically, but I am greatful. Not for the changes but for the maturity to accept them. The giggly arms, achy knees, very undisciplined greys…everywhere.

Yet I have not missed how blessed and lucky I am. I am still alive and healthy. I now even have my AARP card, which I love using to get my discounts, I swear no shame here. I still get to see my sons, to engage with my crazy friends, I am still alive!! And not just breathing, I intend to beat 50 at it’s game. And guess what, I will this Saturday. when I turn 51!@!ūüéāūüć®ūüć∑


Am I the only person struggling to get out of bed in the mornings? I have 3 alarm systems going, my bedside clock, my phone and Alexa and each morning, I press snooze and give instructions for a few more zzzz respectively.

The problem is, I lack discipline in many areas of my life. I get home after the gym, because I work out now, and I cannot just go to my room. I hang out with my son(s), I do abs workout, then by the time I get to my room, i’m on IG then it is past 1am. At this point I have to do my evening devotion, read a scripture and before I know it, I am thanking God for the day that just passed.

I have been wondering though if my mornings are connected in any way to how I feel presently. I want to relocate but I am not ready financially or mentally, but mentally I would be better if I were to relocate. and I am afraid. I feel as if I am in humdrum phase, not knowing, not going, not coming……

I hope its not just me, is it? I have found though, that it is important to have a spiritual center. Something that I can lock myself in. To find my peace, so that I can face each day. I know what mine is but I wouldn’t try to tell you whose or where to find yours. I can only suggest, if you’re experiencing feelings of disconnection, being overwhelmed, stressed, take a few moments each day and find something or someone that brings you back to your core, because at your core is peace, your center. Happy morning!


ALWAYS FACE ONCOMING TRAFFIC…originally posted 5/18/17

Today in NYC it was a miserable day. ¬†I sat at my desk and I could hear chattering going on, but I wasn’t really paying attention. ¬†Finally it dawned on me what they were saying. ¬†There had been an accident in Times Square, 1 person had died and 22 injured.¬†

I went into panic mode, both my sons offices, as well as mine are in close proximity to Times Square. ¬†I started dialing, first my older son, who picked up right away, he was safe at his desk. ¬† Then the baby, no answer, a further text garnered no response. ¬†He hadn’t taken lunch with him today, he might have been walking around on his lunch break. ¬†I called his cellphone again, no response. ¬†How would they know to call me? ¬†What was the call going to be like? ¬†I grabbed up my cellphone to send a warning, you better call me now! Only this time there was a text already there. “Hey mom, yeah I’m good. ¬†Were you out there?” For the first time in minutes I could feel myself breathe. ¬†

We take so much for granted in our lives. ¬†We don’t stop to give thanks until something bad happens. ¬†We don’t activate our faith until we are in despair. ¬†We are taught as children to face oncoming traffic, only this crazy guy drove on the wrong side of the road, and even when we try to do good, often it works against us. Ultimately as my older son taught me, that he believes that what God expects from all of us, is that we are good people, and that we are good to each other. ¬†I think if that attitude and belief permeate our mindset, so many tragedies could be easily averted.¬†¬† Be¬†sure¬†to¬†face¬†oncoming¬†traffic,¬†and¬†look¬†out¬†for¬†each¬†other.


Who? Who am I becoming and at 51, is it still possible? The question I am faced with is what am I becoming, that I am not already?
I have a ways to go if we’re talking any sense of improvement to be honest. Many women can say at 51, “i’m good. I have everything I need. The house, the car, the man, my children are grown”….I have grown children and the car, that’s where i’m at but I am not complaining.

51 comes with wisdom, at least it should. If I am at 51 and things aren’t the way I would like, then I have the power to do something about it. I should at 51 also have the wherewithal to handle things a little better than
I did say at 35. I don’t sweat the small stuff anymore and I can walk away easier now with no regrets and no sweat off my brow. Though I hate the expression, ‘it is what it is’, the truth is, it is. Now armed with that knowledge, what am I going to do about it?

I thank you so much for visiting my blog. I know you have so many other important things that you could be doing, yet you choose to join me and I don’t take that for granted. I started this blog for multiple reasons, I was created to be a writer, I love writing. I figure also that I cannot be the only person experiencing my experiences and so if one person is encouraged by my posts then I am blessed.

The thing that is most important to me is that I use my God given gift to help someone else. I’m a doer. I have tried everything that I ever set out to do and yet my lists grows constantly. I hope this blog helps someone especially in their 30’s; probably my toughest years, realize that if you just hang in there, there comes a point when you look back and declare, ‘it is what it is’.